Friday, March 8, 2013

When Roles Reverse… The Adult Child Becomes The Parent!



It is important to understand family dynamics when it becomes time for adult children to have to help make decisions for their parents. Thinking about long term care and placement in an assisted living or skilled nursing facility is very difficult for families to handle.  The family needs to talk with an experienced elder law attorney centered on what the parent(s) wishes to do versus what is in the best interest of the senior loved one.  Children are generally uncomfortable about moving a parent out of their home to a facility against they want to remain at home.  This discussion can start with looking at in home care aides to start the LifeCARE Cycle. Sometimes parents become rebellious and do not allow anyone in the home to help them.  If the children do not live nearby or have to work a full time job, managing a rebellious parent long distance becomes a difficult family task.

Many children are understandably uncomfortable in becoming the parent, especially if the parent does not want to accept help that is clearly needed.  Independence is a hard thing to let go of.  But there is a time when adult children will need to step in to the decision making role, just as parents do with small children. Your decision to step in can be very difficult because in many situations the decline is gradual.   When is the right time to step in?

Too often the deterioration of your parent’s ability to do the every day things to care for themselves will happen gradually over time. Your parent(s) may become experts at hiding these problems, so it is important for you to be on guard for certain warning signs:
  • Incapable to properly pay bills and manage their finances
  • Incapable to handle their needed nourishment, clothing or shelter
  • Incapable to take care of one’s physical health
Early intervention on your part can prevent serious problems from occurring.  When you visit your parent(s), look for the following warning signs of a possible care crisis:
  • no food in the cupboards,
  • stacks of unopened mail,
  • evidence of not bathing
  • other signs that your parents are no longer able to properly care for themselves.
If they wait for the parents to ask for help, that day will probably never come. They need to have a plan in place sooner than later that will provide for adequate care supervision and financial assistance even if parents feel they need no help. 

LA LAW Center Staff will help you assess your parent’s physical, emotional and financial situation and suggest the best options for your parent’s situation.  This can range from, setting up a Conservatorship, securing Government Benefits to help pay for care, such as Medi-CAL, Medicare, Veterans or Social Security benefits, developing a Life Care Plan or help in choosing In Home Care Givers,  Assisted Living Facility or Nursing Home.

For more information, please go to our website and look around. We try to educate our community and assist them with any elder law needs they may have or fear. Visit our site or call us today to schedule your FREE consultation with one of our experienced elder law attorneys. 

1 (877) 537 - 8283
>>>     www.la-lawcenter.com     <<<

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